Monday, January 31, 2011

Dichotomy of a Mother

The early morning light, sneaked its way through the tiny slits in my curtains. I pulled myself up quietly to peer into the little cot next to my bed. My heart swelled as I gazed upon the angel resting quietly within.

Slowly like a snake in the tangled forest, I shifted my legs so as not to make a sound. As I watched this tiny face, I had an overpowering urge to kiss his little eyes and stroke his soft hair. I wanted to feel like this forever...a thought so powerful that I was suddenly thrust into a moment of anxiety. I realised that this moment wouldn't last forever; my little angel will grow up and one day he will no longer want me to stroke his hair or kiss his lids. My heart panged with a feeling of deep loss and grief as an image came to mind: a swing, motionless in the cold morning, empty where once my angel used to sit and play; the sweet sound of his laughter filling the garden with joy.

I held back the tears for fear of waking him up, but as I pictured this frosty scene from my future, I felt a wave of sadness encircling my heart and I realised, I had to let go.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Morning Rendezvous

I flung open my wardrobe, willing that sexy outfit to jump out me and seduce me with its prowess. "Speak to me my Lovely! Today's your day! Grrrufff!" I scanned the shelves...eyes flitting over the rows and rows of...dark, depressing drab! Nothing to wear! I could feel my inner monster uncoiling slowly as my options began to wane. Panic! Oh hell, why didn't I make use of the sales this year! How am I supposed to be a sultry siren with this vintage ensemble! Oh what a relief as my eyes landed on the dress that was going to make him drool! On it went in two tugs of a pink puff. A quick fix of the hair, a bangle or two and I was off.


My titillating destination? Matinée at the movies for a saucy rendezvous with my new 'friend'. It felt deliciously wicked - single Mum with secret life - I quickly banished any thoughts of school or motherhood from my mind...today was about me and my sexy, wild side!

The deal was to buy separate tickets and find each other in the cinema. I was looking forward to finding my 'friend' in an aisle somewhere, clambering over last night's chewing gum, tremulous with desire!

The deal was to buy separate tickets and find each other in the cinema. I was looking forward to finding my 'friend' in an aisle somewhere, clambering over last night's chewing gum, tremulous with desire!

Finally we found our seats and rooted ourselves for the trepid adventure ahead. All ready to go, I looked to my right and to my despair, I saw two old ladies approaching us. "No, please don't say they're going to sit next to us!" Shuffle, shuffle....stumble, shuffle...look, look...shuffle, shuffle and yes...a few seats away from us. *Groan*...no chance of maximising on our titillating love seats then. Darn! So much for my romantic adventure.

*Sigh*...another one for the books; another fairy story disrupted in Lisi's World.

And so I carry on.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Eat meat? Ask first!

The recent recall of tainted beef (143 million pounds), the largest in U. S. history, raises numerous serious questions. These intelligent and sentient beings are tortured not only in the slaughterhouse where they are severely mistreated, but also on the way to their reprehensible death, in this case, caught on videotape. "Downers," (around 200,000 cows a year and one million pigs) who can't walk, are beaten, shocked, fork-lifted into trucks, or left for dead before they even get to the death chamber. One slaughterhouse worker said of food animals, "They die piece by piece."

Around the world people want to know what they can do to make the world a better place for humans and other animals. One easy thing to do is to stop eating meat, or at least ask where the meat came from and to make the most humane choice. And schools can also do much to increase our "compassion footprint" by refusing to buy meat from slaughterhouses who persecute animals and to teach students to do the same - to ask where the meat came from when they go shopping or when they dine out. This is an easy thing to do and will go a long way toward making the world a more compassionate place for all life.

So, when someone is overwhelmed and can't figure out what to do to add compassion to the world, tell them to "ask first." It's such an easy thing to do.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Enlightenment of Load Shedding

Slowly, majestically, I felt myself being lured by vivid images forming in my head. I switched on the screen and waited tentatively for the tale to take its toll.

Like an unsuspecting surge of bliss, I could feel the soliloquay rising from the depths.

And there it was -brilliant descriptions gushing through my pores. Fingers tingling, darting across the keys. Bursting conceptions began to pulse before my eyes. I could feel my thirsty brain lapping up the words. Fantasies, colours and visions so profound; I was overwhelmed at the intensity of my visions as my fingers battled to keep the pace.

I was elated, wallowing in my genius. Just as I was about to conduct another symphony, I was thrust into utter darkness. . . . . . . "Oh my GOD!!! Not now, Eskom, PLEASE!!" The following description of my complete disgust had to be removed, but let us just say that hell's pit suddenly glowed with fervour at my possible shift to the Dark side!

Stumbling through the darkness, muttering like an old woman as to why those damn, concrete stairs always seem to trip me at the worst of times, I managed to feel my way towards the chest of crumbling candles and succumbed myself to the dim reality before me -feeling a wave of profound uncertainty sneaking over me as I wondered what the hell I was going to occupy myself with for the next couple of hours.

"Scrabble?" I suggested dispassionately to my Mum. A grumbling shape from the corner of the couch echoed my enthusiasm. Fumbling through last month's magazines lying pillaged on the table, I just couldn't seem to shake my irritation.

Slowly my eyes grew accustomed to the darkness. I began to notice objects unfolding from the shadows - the little wooden rhino poised on the stand; head slightly tilted in defiance of my new interest; the flowers in the garden as they shivered in the moon's silver glow...and a rather irritating insect that pursued my face with vehemence.

I couldn't sit there being penetrated by an Aphropod, so I chose to wander around the house and explore this secret world instead.

A buried memory bubbled to the surface of a time when candlelight once inspired fun. Huddled next to the blazing fire and shadows dancing on the walls, my father would narrate the grisly story of the disappearance of Rhoderick. "A lonely, old trout fisherman, was Rhoderick...he used to wander down to the dam at night..." (our dam apparently!) 'and fish by the moonlight for hours on end. Then one, cold night, something happened to Old Rhoderick! His fishing rod was found the next day, lying abandoned by the water's edge. Rhoderick had simply vanished!" By this stage, our eyes were nearly popping out of our heads in fear and my dad would proceed to take us down to the infamous dam in the suffocating darkness and tell us to look very hard into the water. . . . "BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" he roared behind us as his hands clutched our necks pretending it was 'the lost hand of Rhoderick'! Well, I'm sure the people on the neighbouring farm could hear us scream as we hurtled through the tall grass back to the farmhouse, imagining Old, rotting Rhoderick clambering behind us to drag us to the bottom of the muddy swamp!

Shuddering back to the present, I felt a little tentative to venture into the garden - the memory of Rhoderick sabotaging my enthusiasm. Creeping back inside, I felt a thump against my leg as my cat darted past me to lie in wait for a dreaded ambush. He was in his element as I tried to find him, hidden under chairs, me fumbling over feet.

This was no longer my idea of fun. "What on earth did people do to entertain themselves?" I marveled. Lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, my mind began to wonder. . . . How did we become so dependent on something that's running out so fast?! It's almost as if we're reverting back to ancient times. We've gone a full circle - from simple ways of life to complex technological advancements - and now our system is collapsing.It might not so bad, I thought, living by the lamp. I probed this concept further.

There's a shift happening on this planet and reality as we know it is changing - what with global warming affecting climates all over the world and human consciousness evolving towards healthier ways of life. Seeing that reality is the product of our own making, then perhaps load shedding is society's manifestation of breaking down old ways as it moves towards enlightenment. Hmm....Well, I managed to occupy myself on that topic for quite a while.

When I eventually flopped into bed much later, my raging fury had gone. Load shedding is just a product of our future. As sleep gently caressed me with its cloak, I drifted off and thought: "If this is how it's going to be now, I really have to save my work!"

Sunday, January 06, 2008

An Exquisite Remove

This is my favourite painting in John Meyer's latest series, entitled: 'Truths Revealed'. The couple seem to be locked in a moment of tragic separation. Gripping her arms, the man is trying to get her attention but her body language reveals a woman in dispair. To my imagination, their love is terminal, through no choice of their own and we see them in their moment of parting. It is tragic and my heart aches as I become lost in their world.

Inspired by film, John Meyer depicts narrative scenes, in which all his characters are caught in a moment in time, leaving the truth of the scenes open-ended for the viewer to explore.

Incorporating crushed glass in his oils, Meyer creates the brilliant illumination seen in all his paintings.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Ephiphany of Reflection

I was at work at Big Brother the other day whereby a situation arose between two Housemates, which forced my eyes to singe and my mind to rattle!

One of the carnal couples in the 'House of Sin' was treated to a night of indulgence in the Treatment room. Inevitably, this lead to debauched antics of sloppy lip-action and bodily contortions! "Lucky for them," I pondered, "any action is good action these days" and I was quite shocked at this twisted response that emanated from my mouth! Witnessing their lustful expression was not quite the action I had in mind for my own satisfaction.

Further instances have transpired lately, that have caused a lot of tension and instability in the Big Brother House. Tasks are given to the housemates; challenges are created and the consequences result, ultimately, in confusion, drama and false beliefs that events are taking place, when in fact, they are mere fabrications created to toy with the Housemates' minds.

This lead me to explore the concept of reality television, particularly the Big Brother show. I have worked behind the scenes on almost all of them and for some reason, I keep going back. I was quite intrigued as to why I had never really dissected this inner-fascination for reality television before. Sure, I was aware that I enjoyed the concept of 'cutting' live television, but I had never really unpacked the hidden reason as to why I found it so intrigueing and riveting...until yesterday.

We, as crew members, are completely manipulating these people's lives. It starts with ideas from the core - the Production Dept, it then gets fine-tuned by the Content Department and ends up in the Control Room where the Technical Dept. executes these ideas - that's me. The element of surprise constantly disrupts the Housemates' routines and bombards them into changes of action. I was constantly witnessing the thought processes that evolved in each Housemate's mind, from beginning to end and I was being privy to the choices that they made as a result of these events. It struck me: I am in the business of watching how people think and act as a result of the elements of life being thrown at them sporadically and impulsively. I am watching life in the process. My own private idaho!

I have always been a keen observer of life and of people around me; sometimes choosing to dissasociate rather than to partake, but the concept of how people react and why they react to things the way they do, has always been a source of endless amusement for me. Now I get it! And now I'm getting it eight hours a day! And I still want more! Even if it's dull or uneventful, the mere priviledge of observing the way life takes shape and acts itself out, is highly stimulating for me. I concluded this thought-provoking topic with the realisation, that I think I am a voyeur! How interesting.

As I read this analogy, I am amused, once again, to see how life has found a way of manifesting itself in my mind as a result of exploring other people's minds. And so the journey continues...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Passion at work!

I lowered myself gingerly into the familiar cockpit. The grooves from the seat scratched at my skin, catapulting me back to those sweaty, summer days. A faint smell of metal and plastic probed at my thoughts and I could feel my body sinking deeper into position, whisking me away to the other side - a place of dimensions where reality and fantasy became intertwined.

My fingers sought out the bright dayglow buttons, demanding my attention - titillating me with their velvety spheres - how I loved the feeling of those soft, rounded grooves, embracing my fingertips with grateful reunion. With one small touch, a story is borne.

I scanned the kaleidoscope of images before me - flashes of action penetrating my vision. My heart beat faster; my senses tuned in. The cacophony of sounds began to take form. It felt as if my skin was being kissed by a thousand sensory projections. My eyes began to direct the palette of worlds into evolving stories that each held their own secret. This universe of life, started taking shape.

Dirty little secrets flying off the screen like crazed butterflies escaping their cells. Overload of the senses, I fished for the scoops. Like a passionate pianist I tickled the keys to capture the scene. Orders from behind conducted the score! A bombardment of messages being bullied to fruition. Punching and teasing and catching and directing, the story unfolded amidst the mishmash of action.

And then....quiet. Settling down whilst the characters played out their fortunes, we all watched, glued to the screen, as the choices they made paved the way for the next manic panic!

to be continued...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

BIOPRO Chips

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Monday, July 16, 2007

Soul Speak

Feed the soul with aural pleasure!
Don't hide the mind,
So hard to find...
Reveal the You - your forgotten treasure!
July, 2007

Ode to Self

Such detachment, ill of ease,
When before all open to my needs.
Windows change
With passing moons,
No longer singing that sweet tune.
Like the tides I carry dreams,
Flotsam, jetsam, unpicked seams.
Two faces shimmer bright with hope,
Who's to know?
And so..and so..
Feb, 2007.