Dichotomy of a Mother

The early morning light, sneaked its way through the tiny slits in my curtains. I pulled myself up quietly to peer into the little cot next to my bed. My heart swelled as I gazed upon the angel resting quietly within.

Slowly like a snake in the tangled forest, I shifted my legs so as not to make a sound. As I watched this tiny face, I had an overpowering urge to kiss his little eyes and stroke his soft hair. I wanted to feel like this forever...a thought so powerful that I was suddenly thrust into a moment of anxiety. I realised that this moment wouldn't last forever; my little angel will grow up and one day he will no longer want me to stroke his hair or kiss his lids. My heart panged with a feeling of deep loss and grief as an image came to mind: a swing, motionless in the cold morning, empty where once my angel used to sit and play; the sweet sound of his laughter filling the garden with joy.

I held back the tears for fear of waking him up, but as I pictured this frosty scene from my future, I felt a wave of sadness encircling my heart and I realised, I had to let go.

Morning Rendezvous

I flung open my wardrobe, willing that sexy outfit to jump out me and seduce me with its prowess. "Speak to me my Lovely! Today's your day! Grrrufff!" I scanned the shelves...eyes flitting over the rows and rows of...dark, depressing drab! Nothing to wear! I could feel my inner monster uncoiling slowly as my options began to wane. Panic! Oh hell, why didn't I make use of the sales this year! How am I supposed to be a sultry siren with this vintage ensemble! Oh what a relief as my eyes landed on the dress that was going to make him drool! On it went in two tugs of a pink puff. A quick fix of the hair, a bangle or two and I was off.

My titillating destination? Matinée at the movies for a saucy rendezvous with my new 'friend'. It felt deliciously wicked - single Mum with secret life - I quickly banished any thoughts of school or motherhood from my mind...today was about me and my sexy, wild side!

The deal was to buy separate tickets and find each other in the cinema. I was looking forward to finding my 'friend' in an aisle somewhere, clambering over last night's chewing gum, tremulous with desire!

The deal was to buy separate tickets and find each other in the cinema. I was looking forward to finding my 'friend' in an aisle somewhere, clambering over last night's chewing gum, tremulous with desire!

Finally we found our seats and rooted ourselves for the trepid adventure ahead. All ready to go, I looked to my right and to my despair, I saw two old ladies approaching us. "No, please don't say they're going to sit next to us!" Shuffle, shuffle....stumble, shuffle...look, look...shuffle, shuffle and yes...a few seats away from us. *Groan*...no chance of maximising on our titillating love seats then. Darn! So much for my romantic adventure.

*Sigh*...another one for the books; another fairy story disrupted in Lisi's World.

And so I carry on.